Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A year ago 11/15/05 (taken from myspace)

A year ago today my nightmare began. I woke up at 9am to find Landan on the floor. Im SO angry sometimes I had to go through that morning alone. Waking up and having that panic run through my body instantly! Landan looked like he was already gone. I remember thinking frantically in my head "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" After a few brief seconds I was finally able to see he was still hanging in their! Called 911 ... off to the hospital ...
A year ago today Landan was bravely fighting a deadly bacteria that was too powerful for him to fight against. A friend once said, "he was fighting a battle he couldn't win" but still fought anyway! Im so proud of him for the fight he put up!
So a year ago today we were surrounded by dear family & friends at the hospital. I would like to tell you about the amazing support we had during that time. My best friend Kristin was the first person I called, she left work immediately to come for support, my dad and step mom drove up from 4hrs away, Andys friend Shane & his wife Michelle drove up from 4hrs away, Andys mom drove over from 2hrs away, a few of my moms friends came right over when they heard Landan was in the hospital, my stepdad left work & picked up my younger sisters, and Landans Godparents & their family came that night.
Time went by so quickly a year ago today, I can't pin point exactly what was going on at this moment. Later tonight Landan was given the Anointing of the Sick by a priest from our church, and given his first hyper baric chamber treatment at around 7pm.
Im still anxiety filled today. My stomach is already upset & in knots. I've eaten a little but I need to relax myself so Im able to settle my stomach and eat more! I feel like I have to keep reminding myself DEEP BREATHS LACEY! One foot infront of the other. I just need to CHILL! I know I have every right to be upset, but the stomach ache is just ridiculous! And I know that! Like I said, I KNOW nothing is wrong with me, but with anxiety it's like your head is playing games. Kind of like ... one min it pokes you on the shoulder, then the stomach, then your back ... so it's ALL over the place lol. Last night my back hurt and I was worrying about it ... but SO WHAT! When Im NOT having anxiety and my back hurts I dont get all worked up about it! lol Please pray for me & give me the strength to get over this anxiety shit for a few days so I can focus on beautiful memories of Landan.
Thank you to everyone that has been their for me this past year! Whether it's my friends here, or friends online!

No comments:


Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin