Sunday, June 30, 2013
If you've been checking into my blog in the past you know I have a passion for music. It can be so relate-able & therapeutic. A song can have many meanings for different people.
When I first heard "Just Give Me A Reason" but Pink & Nate Ruess I just plain liked it. I really didn't even feel a particular "pull" to the song. Earlier this month when I was listening to the song a connection really rung home & I posted this status on Facebook:
This reminds me of the year after Landan passed away. We fought so much, I told Andy all the time I didn't want to be married anymore, etc. I just didn't want to be loved by anyone for awhile. I wanted to feel empty. So thankful we were able to overcome such a horrible time that most couples don't make it through together. Even though we bicker I couldn't imagine being with anyone else.
It's weird to reflect on a time when I thought I would be "ok" without Andy. I can still remember how mean things got that year after Landan died. We even got into one physical fight that included pushing & screaming. I still wonder how the cops weren't called that time. Atleast three holes were put into our apartment walls during that time as well. It was just very volatile. We spent alot of time apart from each other. It had to have made Landan sad to look down on two of his favorite people and see how mean they were being to each other. Kinda makes me sad to think about that. But I'm just that things turned around. I guess in some way I can thank my anxiety for that. After having anxiety for awhile it got to a point where I just wanted to be home, with Andy when I was anxious. I needed him. Shortly after we got pregnant with Layne and were so excited. So in love from the beginning. He's changed our lives just like Landan did & continues to.
I feel very blessed to have my family & the friends I do have. Those are the most important things in my life.
"Just Give Me A Reason"